Friday, October 25, 2013

A Puzzling Proposal

Aric knew he had to calm down or he was going to blow it. After all, who breaks out into a flop sweat doing the crossword puzzle? If he didn’t relax, he was sure to clue his girlfriend, Jennie, into the fact that this was no ordinary Sunday Boston Globe. This was his marriage proposal.
The two, both 29 — he’s in communications, she studies public health — had dated for four years and never seriously discussed marriage. Why mess up a good thing? went the thinking. But Aric had second thoughts. And since they were fanatics, he says, proposing via the tiny boxes of a crossword puzzle “was a more natural idea than it might seem to others.”
So last June he contacted the Globe and told them about his idea. They bit. Aric fed Globe puzzle writers Emily Cox and Henry Rathvon (who also create RD‘s Word Power column) personal info to be turned into clues, then he waited … for four torturous months.
On the morning of September 23, having not slept the entire night before, Aric nonchalantly asked Jennie, “Want to do the crossword puzzle?” He bolted downstairs and out the door, grabbed the paper, then ran up to their bedroom. Climbing back into bed, the two assumed their normal puzzle-solving pose, with Jennie leaning against him. Almost immediately, she was struck by the number of clues that matched up with people and places in her life.
Twenty across asked: “Lover of Theseus.” The answer was Ariadne, whose namesake is a friend of Jennie’s. Seventy-three across: “One of the Judds.” Naomi, also Jennie’s sister’s name. Ninety-one across: “NASCAR driver Almirola.” Answer: Aric.
Aric began scanning ahead to where the big clue was. “I knew the moment was coming,” he said. And there it was. One hundred eleven across: “Generic proposal.” Clever, he thought, a wordplay on Jen and Aric. The clue next to it was “Winston’s mother.”
“Look at that,” said Aric. “Will you marry me, Jennie.’” He waited for a reaction. He didn’t get one. Jennie is a smart person, smart enough to know all about Theseus’ love life, but this was information overload. So Aric produced a ring and, quoting the Boston Globe crossword puzzle, asked, “Will you marry me, Jennie?”
After tears and shrieks and lots of “I love you’s,” Jennie said yes.
“I’m not the most romantic person,” admits Aric. “I think I was playing above my head on this one.”
Then Romeo adds, “Hopefully, this will satisfy Jennie for a while."

All That Jazz

“I really can’t think of anybody who wouldn’t appreciate being met at the airport by a jazz band,” says writer Calvin. “I suppose there might be some people who are in the witness protection program.”
But Calvin’s wife, Alice, wasn’t some hood in hiding, and she would, he knew, most definitely love being feted by a jazz band.
The year was 1972, and Calvin was in Louisiana covering a crawfish festival. Back in New York, Alice’s parents were both ill, and she was coming down for some much-needed R&R. Calvin wanted to cheer her up. He called a friend at Preservation Hall about getting a band. But Jazz Fest was in full swing. All the good ones were booked. So he took what was left.
When Alice’s flight landed, she deplaned and walked smack into a wall of sound — brass, to be exact — tooting a rousing rendition of “Hello, Dolly!” For her. And she laughed.
“She saw it as a grand gesture. And I don’t think she cared that the cornet player was actually an antiques dealer.” In fact, he wasn’t even from Cajun country. He hailed from London. And the trombone player? Norwegian. They happened to be in town for the festival.
Calvin and Alice strolled arm in arm through the terminal, trailed by their personal band blasting out standards. Along the way, passengers fell in behind and began second-lining all the way to the baggage area.
“Usually not the most interesting of times, waiting for your bags,” says Calvin. “But they kept playing.”
Alice died a few years ago, but Calvin clings to the memory of that day. “She was a very engaged person,” he says. “Having a jazz band meet her fit her personality.”
So what if he couldn’t land a Satchmo or a Wynton Marsalis? As Calvin reminds us, “Imperfect gestures are still nice gestures.”

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Women Love A Man In Uniform

originally posted by
ATTENTION Military Active Duty and Veterans !!! Front and center ! I am definitely one of you... a disabled combat veteran of the 82nd Airborne Division. Maybe we're a lot alike, with the same BS problems and needs. 

Especially when it comes to finding someone and sharing your life in a good way.

Listen, in my experience no one really understands a veteran except another veteran with similar experiences. Believe me, I found this out the hard way, and wasted a lot of time, energy, and money; only to end up with a lot of heartache I didn't need. When I got out, back in "the real world", I was lost, confused, and angry... for years and years. Besides my spinal cord injury, like many other veterans, I have post-tramatic stress disorder.

But enough about me, this blog is for you. Share your experiences and communicate with other like minded people. Ask questions, get answers, help each other; and get some really good, positive and meaningful dating experiences. Get a life and take action. Nothing happens until you make it happen, right?

Seniors, Divorced or Widowed?

 How do you move on when a relationship comes to an end?



When you have lost your partner due to divorce, seperation, or even death, it can be very difficult to move on and get into the "dating scene." Always keep your eyes open so that you don't miss out on a real opportunity to meet and date potential partners that would make a good fit with your needs. Save a lot of heartache, time, and energy by communicating with others of like mind. Ask questions, get answers, and make knowledgeable comments about your personal situation. Your lifelong experiences and wisdom will really shine in a productive way on this blog. 
It's your life, so you might as well enjoy it!

Disabled? Depressed? Lonely?


Physically disabled or dealing with severe injury? Depressed and lonely?


You are definitely not alone. You probably have more heart and soul, passion and compassion than most. If you are looking for a soulmate, we would like to help. Please help us to communicate with others who feel the same way and help us to make this blog a much needed resource for those in need of special dating advise.

An Anthropologist's Views On Dating



Having lived in 14 states, and several countries for extended periods, I have had a great deal of exposure to different cultures, beliefs, attitudes, customs, values, and different dating methods. My academic major was cultural anthropology, so my perceptions, methodology was highly attuned to acute observation of the practices of different cultures.


Just one example to start. According to E.E.Evans-Pritchard, a world renowned British Socialogist/Anthropologist, the Nuer tribe in Africa have some really different and interesting dating practices. A young girl obtains an older woman who guides, coaches, and otherwise help her learn a great deal about dating, sex, and other matters. She even teaches the girl really incredible sexual practices, including masturbation and successful climax practices.

While E.E. Evans-Pritchard was a highly regarded Anthropologist, his books are not without humor. He was extremely observant, and wanted to observe non obtrusively. He wanted to personally impact the culture he was studying as little as possible. In part of his book he even admits hiding in the bushes while he quietly observed and took notes on couples copulating. He also privately listened and observed the older woman teaching the young girl on sexual practices. The writer claims that, after training, the young gir would climax so heavily and strongly that her fluids hit the opposite wall from her bed. Yeah, anthropology can be interesting.

Some North American Native Americans have a dating/marriage custom similar to some Latin American "paseo" customs. The Native American groups form a circle of males around a circle of females. One sex walks around in the opposite direction of the other. If the male or female stops walking and stares at the other individual, that means they are interested in dating and perhaps marrying the other.


Similarly, some Latin Americans (with much, much larger numbers) form similar circles, and stop with indications of interest. And so it goes. There are over 2000 major known cultures in the world, and there are major similarities and differences as well.

Given Love, Lost Love

 Here is a short true story by Deb Roberts                   


    Just moved from North Syracuse, New York, for business into a furnished, one bedroom/one floor plan apartment with a livingroom and kitchenette, in Coraopolis, PA. That is northeast of Pittsburg, PA. near the Ohio river. The complexes had tall trees in the back and shorter trees in the front, that was half way between the parking lot and the fence. The birds loved to land those trees. Ralph and Debra was glad the birds were there because they loved hearing the birds making music.
   
    Ralph recently became a Business Consultant and was transferred to cover Pittsburg for the company. Debra, his wife, helped him with the paperwork and getting directions ready to visit his next client. She always went on his appointments with him.

    One day, Debra had the front door open and she was working at a folding table, using it for a desk. It was a warm and very sunny midmorning day in April. The air smelled of the flowering trees just outside. The birds were singing and the neighborhood was relatively quiet. Ralph was in the bedroom getting some things ready for when he had to leave a couple of hours later.

“Excuse me.” Debra heard and she looked up.
There stood a tall, thin, brown haired young man of about 20 years old in blue jeans, white tee shirt, no shoes or socks. The craziest thing she noticed was he had tube socks over his hands and arms. His hands were cupped together in front of him like someone trying to carry water in them.

“I was wondering if you could help me?” He opened up his hands a little and out popped a little head. A pretty, little baby bird was in his hands. The bird had a blackish gray head with a white throat and an orangy-yellow belly,and  gray back. It still had some of it’s fluffy new born feathers. 

 “I think it’s a baby Robin,” he said.

Mesmerized, staring at the bird, she continued to listen to him.

     “I live over there,” he moved his hands to indicate the next building over that was about 100 feet away. The young man continued, “in the back part of the building. Watching out my window I saw this little baby bird knocked out of his nest in that tall tree over there by a cat. I ran out and chased the cat away, but now I have to go to my college class soon and I was looking for someone to help with the tiny bird. You’re the only people I could find home.”

“I don’t know what I can do, but I will try.” Believing that if a human touches the baby (she did not know if that was true or not), the parent will not come near it again. Entering the kitchenette, Debra quickly picked up a medium sized pot and draped a kitchen towel in and took it to the front door.

 The young man carefully placed the very young bird into the pot and stood there and petted it like you would a dog or cat and smiled, “Thanks for the help.” Then turned and walked away back towards his apartment.

Debra placed the potted bird on her table/desk as Ralph walked from the bedroom, into the livingroom.

“Who was here?” he asked. “Where did that come from?”

After explaining the prior events, she smiled and said, “We have a new pet.”
They sat down on the couch and watched the little bird. Ralph and Debra immediately loved the young bird. Really enjoying sitting there and listening to it tweet.

After a while, Debra went back to work at her desk, finishing the directions she was working on. Then Ralph asked, “How are you going to feed it?”
Turning her head, open mouthed and trying to think, Debra stared out of their livingroom window at the 6 foot wooden privacy fence that edged two sides of the 5’ by 5’ concrete slab porch outside their apartment. A sidewalk was on the third side for exiting the apartment, leading to the parking lot. The first thought that came to her mind was smashing a worm and feeding it to the baby……Uck!!!

Eventually Debra noticed an adult Robin was chirping and hopping across the fence.“Chirp, chirp,” the adult bird called.

“Tweet..tweet,” baby bird answered.

Then the adult bird would hop across the fence, “Chirp…,” turned it’s head as if to be listening, “Chirp….chirp.”

Then the baby called back, “Tweet …tweet,” hopping in the pot, mouth open, waitting for the food.

Miracle!! Even though the baby was not in the tree, nor on the ground near the tree, but in a building 250 feet away from the tree, Mama found her baby! So, very carefully, Debra lifted the pot and carried it outside.

Once outside, she tried to find the best place to put the new nest. Figuring that the pot would not set well in the tree near their porch without falling. The air conditioner, that was outside the fence, in front of the bedroom window,  would be too low, making the baby vulnerable to animals and children. But placing the pot on the corner of their privacy fence, they could look out the front window and see the baby and the adult interact.

Settling down and watching, first they noticed baby tweeted, the mama flew from the tree that was right next to the fence and landed on top of the fence. Mama chirpped, baby tweeted, mama hopped across the fence towards the pot nest. Mama chirpped and kept turning it’s head to locate the baby. Baby tweeted and mama would move closer until she hopped on the rim of the pot.
Then suddenly she flew away! Disappointed, but Debra left the baby outside. Her thoughts travelled back to the smashing worms idea. The baby was quiet.

Suddenly, the baby went, “Tweet!”
\
Mama flew back, “Chirp!” Mama hopped on the fence and continued until she was back up on the rim of the pot and began to feed the baby. Over and over, the birds went through this process as Ralph and Debra watched for a couple hours. Too soon, enjoying the show so much, it was time for Ralph and Debra to see a client. Thinking that it was as good as any place, they left the baby up on the fence.

While they were visiting the client, Ralph and Debra told them their wonderful bird story. After being gone for a couple of hours, they were excited to get back to watch the birds.

Driving back, the traffic was very heavy, at times it came to a stand still. They started, again discussing the very young bird. Both became concerned and extremely anxious to get back to find out the welfare of the baby Robin.

“It’s gone!” Debra said, shocked and surprised.  The pot was not on the top of the fence.

After quickly parking the car, got out, they started searching around the fence. On the inside of the wood fence, she saw it. The pot was lying on the ground sideways. Towel partially pulled out of the pot. Feeling an urgent need to find the baby, she franically looked for it.

“The cat has it!” Ralph shouted and pointed.

Hunched down in the direction of the tree that the baby bird came from, was a big, gray, black with some white, cat. In his mouth, was the baby.

Debra ran and yelled at the cat until he dropped the baby and ran about 10 feet away. The cat stopped, crouched down, looked back at her. Seeing she was still coming, the cat looked longingly at the baby, then turned and hurried away.

Kneeling next to the baby, Ralph had brought with him the towel and he handed it to Debra.

Feeling the pain that the Mama bird would be feeling for her lost child, Debra picked up the baby with the towel.

As she looked down at the wee little baby, Debra blamed herself for not putting the potted baby in the apartment for safety, thinking the Mama bird would want to keep feeding it while they were gone. Very sad because she would not hear the little one tweet again because she knew. Regretfully she knew.  She saw no blood, but the baby would move no more.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Start Talking

How can I get a date with a wealthy partner ?

 Does that question make me sound like a "Gold Digger" ? Maybe it does, but let's examine this from another angle. Suppose that you already have a great deal of money on your own. Would you be suspicious that people are dating you just for your money ? If you have those kinds of thoughts, wouldn't your mind be set at ease knowing that the person you're dating is financially able to live their entire life without ever having to ask for your money ?

 And if you're not where you would like to be financially wouldn't you rather date someone who is better off than you are ? Someone who has nice clothes to wear and is capable of paying their own way ? I'm not saying you can only date a Rockafeller or a Kardasian, but shouldn't you aim higher than homeless and unemployed ?

 We all want to do well, and we should also want to date well. We should date someone who inspires us to do better and to be better. The point is that you want to be with someone who will make you stronger and create a strong union with them rather than allowing someone to weaken you in any way.

We all have many questions, and hopefully some of us have answers and are willing to share them. This is a place where you can share your experience and knowledge with others who could use it. So feel free to share as we all journey towards finding that one special someone that we are each looking for.

HAPPY HUNTING........